Stumbling Toward Enlightenment

There are no new titles anymore, just recycling what’s gone brilliantly before us.

We’re getting a little much-needed rain today, though not nearly enough. The temperature has dropped as well, which is fine. We all need some cool down time.

Amazon

The other day I took Amazon to her holistic vet for her monthly checkup. Her vet has been away for a month, and toward the end of that time Amazon wasn’t feeling so well, and I didn’t want to wait until her next appointment. She’s actually doing great. In fact, she may well outlive me!

It reminds me of an earlier cat that cohabited with me when I lived in London, Cassie. Cassie was a “gift” from my first lesbian lover, whose parents had “owned” Cassie and had both died. I had a house, and Cassie needed a house to live in. Cassie spent the first year of our relationship hiding under the living room sofa, except for when she came out to eat and take care of business.

Though my human relationship ended shortly thereafter, my relationship with Cassie lasted many years, and she moved out from under the sofa onto the foot of my bed when I slept. She was never a lap cat, but we had a mutual understanding that grew into a great love over the years.

Cassie had come to me with the diagnosis of having a “bad heart” and so sometimes I wondered how she was doing. She always turned out to be fine. However, one evening she didn’t seem so fine…she wouldn’t eat, her nose was hot and dry, and I couldn’t easily see any breathing. Of course, it was near the middle of the night, and I was convinced she was near death. I frantically called ’round vets to find one that was open and I spoke to a woman who agreed to meet me at her clinic and have a look.

I didn’t even have a cat carrier, so I bundled Cassie into the front of my jacket and sat with her on my lap as I drove to the clinic, crying uncontrollably, alternately wiping my eyes and nose and stroking Cassie, who was quite quiet and might even have been asleep. So, I got to the clinic and, between sobs, described the symptoms I’d see to the vet, who tried her best to calm me down. Se did an exam…and…Cassie had a cold.

Cassie went on to live several more full years as my companion. Sadly, I was unable to find a new home for her when I left London, and thought I had no other choice but to give her over to an animal clinic. I put her in my backpack and had that against my chest as I cycled to the clinic, which was about half an hour away, and, again was in tears the whole way there. Cassie wasn’t quiet this time. At the clinic I felt everyone sitting there knew I was abandoning my animal and was silently damning me for doing so. I had to fill out some paperwork, and then a white-coated man came to take her away from me.

She didn’t want to go. She clung to me and was wailing. Now everyone, for sure, was watching our struggle of separation. The man was being very gentle and saying to me that everything would be fine. I wasn’t so sure. Finally Cassie let go and I turned a fled the building. I cried all the way home and for days afterward.

I’m crying now. That was one of the hardest things I ever did.

So, when Amazon seems to be doing badly, I’m happy to rearrange my schedule and take her to the vet. I will do it in a heartbeat. As long as she wants to stay with us, I will help her do that.

Bed kats: Boca, Amazon and Kali

Now we have Amazon, Boca Grande and Kali living with us, all of them rescued from the streets. Boca Grande, the only male in our house, is a pain in the ass sometimes, but we love him, and we love his sisters.

Kali likes to sneak up when you’re busy on the telephone, or concentrating on something, or eating dinner, and insinuate herself into your lap, curled up like an armadillo. Then you’re stuck. Any movement elicits a grumpy growl and her claws might dig into your thigh. Ouch! If you do force her to move, she’ll get up, stretch and step to the nearest flat surface and look back at you with distain. Then she’ll pretend you’re not even alive and begin to clean herself, or move on to a more immobile resting place.

Boca Grande has his chair and his bed, and his place on the couch. Do not even think to sit there! If you do, he will begin an unending chorus of wails and outrageous, indignant shrieks…he will continue until you move. He’s not named Boca Grande for nothing, you know.

Amazon is the big sister and watches over the other two with a matriarchal grandeur. The waves part before her. She doesn’t have to say anything. A look will do. Oftentimes I’ll be working away and suddenly feel that I need to turn around. There’s Amazon, silently watching me and waiting for me to notice her. Then I get up and she leads me into the kitchen (for food), or to one of the doors to be let outside.

My partner and I have renamed ourselves “the can and door openers.”

I’m grateful to have them in my life. Till death do we part.

I’ve been both lazy and super-busy the past two weeks, so I’ve been negligent in my postings. It takes a lot of time to work in the computer…reading e-mail, the daily news, responding to e-mail and blog posts, updating my own blog; my web site. my social networking sites…it’s a lot of work, and…sometimes at the end of the day there’s seemingly little to show for all that time and effort.

Jewel plant in flower [photo—JB]

So, I’m belatedly updating my blog today. I’m getting new users joining almost every day…why? I can’t tell you. I don’t advertise this blog anywhere other than on my web site, so these people must be surfing and finding me that way, or using spiders to hopefully get me to spend some money with them.

I spent a large amount of time taking two laptops apart last week and installing new parts: one was a replacement LCD monitor and inverter cable, et. al., the other was a new DVD drive and touch pad. I’m thinking that I need to get a new battery for my iPod, so I’ll probably be taking that apart soon.

I went to a great workshop offered by the Facing History and Ourselves folks, located here in the Bay Area, although this is a national organization. The workshop was constructed around a film called Banished (Marco Williams), and explored three banishments of the entire black population from three different communities in the early 1900′s. I’d known that these mass expulsions had happened, though I only knew of one, and didn’t really know that much about that one.

Facing History develops workshops and materials for educators in order that they can teach and promote dialogue about some of the difficult elements of our modern lives—racism, prejudice and anti-Semitism—in order to create a more humane and informed community. They start with children in elementary schools and continue on past the educational system into the community at large. I think I was the only non-educator there.

However, the workshop was very meaningful for me. It was inspiring to see such passionate educators, and to see the though and care that went into producing the workshop. There were interesting discussion segments and I learned new ways of thinking about a given situation. There were some high school students there as well, and I got to dialogue with one of them.

I believe that the only way we have any chance of overcoming the “evils” of our society; the “them” versus “us” evils; is that we talk with one another. We may not get to the point of agreement, we may not even like one another at the end, but at least we will have taken the opportunity to talk with, listen and hear each other. Facing History provides a great start for that process.

Kali catching some rays [photo—JB]

It’s the middle of November and the sun is shining and the weather is warm and inviting. We’ve had some rain, but I suppose that will begin more in earnest next month. I still have plenty of opportunities to catch up with my gardening chores!

Amazon is doing fairly well! Yeah! I started giving all the cats something called Mush, which is a blend of mushrooms from Fungi Perfecti, and which supports and strengthens their immune system. All the cats seem to enjoy it and they’ve perked up (it may be my imagination) since I’ve been using it in their food. Yum!

I went to the Green Festival this weekend and took some friends, one of whom hadn’t been before. Her eyes were wide! She really enjoyed it, but after an hour we were overwhelmed with all the people there! So many, many people! At times it was like pushing through jello! But, I didn’t see many people that I knew, so that means there are more people getting interested in being sustainable. Now, it’s got to become as mainstream as Safeway so that Joe Blow will know about it and think it’s OK. And cheap enough that foods grown with pesticides are more expensive than organic foods. I’ve often said that our organic food bill is at least four times the non-organic Safeway bill of our neighbors. Something’s wrong with that picture.

I’ve been writing a gratitude journal on another blog for some time. I’ve decided to fold that one into this one, since keeping both up to date is a chore. Today I’m writing about our cats.

Our Amazon cat is very sick, and has been getting a lot of attention (and expensive vet care) from us lately. However, she’s hanging in there. I may have mentioned last year, almost to the month, that she was given a few weeks to live by a western vet. We took her to an alternative practitioner, and then to a holistic vet, and she’s been on the road to recovery since then.

Our cats in one of their daytime hang outs…a rare photo of them altogether. Boca on the left, Amazon in the top right, Kali at the bottom right.

Recently we had a downpour of rain and lots of damp weather, and Amazon took a turn for the worse again. She’s again on the road to recovery, but we’re making plans to have an emergency vet on call incase she really goes downhill and we have to make that terrible decision to let her go.

I am grateful for every day we have with her.

I was looking at all the cats very closely yesterday…looking at them move, or just lie there. They are so beautiful, and each of them has their own personality, they’re so different from each other.

Amazon, the eldest, the big sister. She is quiet unless she wants something, then there’s no doubt. It’s usually food, but sometimes she just wants caress units, or to get in a lap. Lately she wants more caress units. She is black.

Boca Grande, the big brother, lives up to his name, which means Big Mouth, in Spanish. He is the most vocal cat I have ever met, by far! He talks almost all the time when he’s awake, if only to say, I’m just going to curl up here for a little nap. Boca is the most reliable alarm clock too! At 6 a.m., noon and 18:00 he is there, waiting for his breakfast, lunch and dinner. Then at 21:00 he’s ready for his combing and snack before going off to bed for the night. He is a grey and white tabby cat with beautiful eye makeup and a raccoon tail.

Kali, the youngest, uses us as her bed and breakfast place. She is the most independent one. She spends most of the time outside, stalking, hiding in the foliage waiting for birds, hunting mice, or surveying her queendom. She roams all around the neighborhood, and one of our neighbors complained that she wakes him up late at night when she’s hunting in his backyard. Kali is a black calico cat, with hues of red and orange hidden in her fur.

We found all of the cats on the streets, orphaned. Amazon and Boca have ben with us nearly 15 years, and Kali for over 10. We love them all dearly and often have to laugh at their expressions, and their antics. Even though sometimes they are a pain in the butt, and we always have problems finding reliable cat sitters when we want to escape for awhile, we wouldn’t be without them for anything, and as they are getting older, and as Amazon is so ill, we are contemplating our lives in the future without them, which is sad, as you can expect.

I read in the news today that animal shelters are overflowing with animals that have been given up, or abandoned because of their owner’s not being able to care for them, either because of foreclosures, or expensive vet bills, etc. I can’t imagine giving our cats up. If it came to that we’d find homes for them, and be sure they had good homes to go to. IF it evern came to that, which, thank the goddess, I don’t think it will.

Well, that’s it for today. Blessed be.

Cat Logic

Kali kat

Human logic: I feed the cat, therefore the cat is mine.
Cat logic: Human feeds me, therefore, human is my slave.

Human logic: Best time to pet cat is when relaxing, in front of the TV for instance.
Cat logic: Best time to be pet is when human is shuffling papers, typing on keyboard, or, as a general rule, whenever human is busy.

Showdown

Human logic: Awe, my cat is rubbing his head on my leg. My cat loves me!
Cat logic: Notice me, Slave. I’m hungry.

Human logic: My cats are cuddling with each other – how sweet!
Cat logic: I’m cold, and am putting up with the other fur-ball. Turn the heater on, Slave.

Human logic: I’m a decent person, but I sure know my flaws and limits.
Cat logic: I am a cat. Therefore, I am perfect.

Human logic: Some days, I wish I could sleep forever. I know I can’t do that, though.
Cat logic: Zzzzzz…

Boca