Stumbling Toward Enlightenment

how bout getting off these antibiotics
how bout stopping eating when I’m full up
how bout them transparent dangling carrots
how bout that ever elusive kudo

thank you india
thank you terror
thank you disillusionment
thank you frailty
thank you consequence
thank you thank you silence

how bout me not blaming you for everything
how bout me enjoying the moment for once
how bout how good it feels to finally forgive you
how bout grieving it all one at a time

thank you india
thank you terror
thank you disillusionment
thank you frailty
thank you consequence
thank you thank you silence

the moment I let go of it was the moment
I got more than I could handle
the moment I jumped off of it
was the moment I touched down

how bout no longer being masochistic
how bout remembering your divinity
how bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out
how bout not equating death with stopping

thank you india
thank you providence
thank you disillusionment
thank you nothingness
thank you clarity
thank you thank you silence

“Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can – there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.” ~ Sarah Caldwell

“When you are grateful fear disappears and abundance appears” ~ Anthony Robbins

This morning I’m grateful that I don’t have a full-time job where I have to be in some office at a certain time every day and sit there looking busy, even if I actually am.

I’m grateful for the love that I have from my family and friends. I am grateful that I can acknowledge that I am blessed in so many ways…some that I’m not even aware of.

I am grateful that I woke to birdsong and can breathe clean air coming in through the screen door, that there are cats and dogs I greet every day who don’t bite, or scratch me, who recognize me as a fellow traveler.

Blessed be!

In a few days I’ll be moving out of my home for the past seven years and into a new one. I am feeling slightly overwhelmed and crazy with all the packing and cleaning up I have to do…last minute stuff to take care off, etc. The move coincides with a surge in work as well, so I’ve been working late into the night and not sleeping enough.

Life is change, what else is there to say.

Boca Grande

The cats are spending as much time as they can with me. They know I’m leaving soon. I’ll miss them, and will have to visit often to exchange caress units.

The move is good. I feel good about it, and know that I have overstayed here. So, let’s see what the next days and weeks hold for me, for us.

Blessed be.

This weekend is Thanksgiving weekend…today is “Black Friday.” Why is it called that? Anybody know?

I’ve been making more clear space in my office (which I share with my bedroom). I moved my desk under the loft and so will get rid of two big tables that I used before. I am happy with the new arrangement and my space looks and feels much lighter already. More plants! More space! More quiet room!

But…I have so much STUFF! Lots of books! I’m going to have to wed them again, which I hate doing. I said a few years ago that I would stop buying books. But I STILL do! I LOVE books. I love my iPhone too, but I love books! And some magazines (This Old House, Yoga Journal, Ms, National Geographic…)

Anyway. I just read a great post on Care2…I posted it here for you to read too. About a cat-astrophe. Don’t worry, it ends well.

Boca Grande in one of his favorite spots…one of the few times he’s quiet. [Photo: JB]

I am so lucky to live in my house, in Oakland, California, with my cats, with my partner, with our garden. Today the sun is shining! It’s November 27th! Isn’t that amazing! I am truly blessed.

So, back to work! Catch ‘ya later!